Whitehead Communications

Planting seeds: a survivor’s guide to the end of the world

4/30/2020

Disruption. Struggle. Loss. Can you relate?

In the midst of a global pandemic, with sickness and economic collapse bearing down on us, the painful stretch between our life’s expectations and our current reality can feel quite literally like the END OF THE WORLD. And the struggle is definitely real.

Today my old friend and mentor, PR Guru Simon Kaheru, reached out on the occasion of my birthday to remind me to blog. Oh, right. I should be blogging. I know this. I’m a professional. And yet I’d allowed myself to go quiet because, well, disruption and struggle crept into my life some time ago and I’d honestly been feeling too vulnerable, too strained by the task of rebuilding again from scratch to continue revealing my inner thoughts to the world on a regular basis.

But I forgot something. Sure, a professional communications strategist will think twice, or a hundred times, before exposing vulnerability – manage risk! – but the very first value on which I based my company is HONESTY. And there is great value to be found in honestly discussing struggle.

So, in the spirit of finding the “happy” in this 2020 birthday, let me share with you what I’ve learned about surviving “the end of the world”.

1. REMIND YOURSELF WHAT YOU’RE CAPABLE OF

The mind will play tricks on you. When you’re feeling low – maybe you’ve lost your income, your purpose, your social connections, your sense of self – the mind will see the world and yourself through a dirty lens. You’ll trick yourself into thinking that everything is bad, that you are entirely worthless, that things can’t possibly get better.

Check yourself! Consciously review what you’ve been able to accomplish in your life, what skills and value you have to offer, and if you can’t remember on your own, ask a friend to help you out. No story has only one side, so resist that negative narrative and bring your mindset back to a place where you can find your power and regain hope that better times will come; success is still possible!

2. NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Yes, I am a public relations professional, so relationships are everything to me. I might not have accumulated much wealth in terms of dollars, shillings or pounds, but the huge power of my social capital will outweigh material goods any day. After all, you cannot starve if someone who loves you has food to spare. I have learned time and time again that trading in favours between friends can take a campaign further than any budget ever could.

So, you may be physically distanced from your networks, but if you can read this blog that means you can get online, and that means you have an incredibly valuable resource in the palm of your hand. Reach out to your friends. Ask them how they are doing. Send them good wishes, a meme, a useful tip or heartwarming story. Offer whatever little value you can. A lot of people right now just need a little company, a laugh, a reminder that they too have value and are not alone. Nurture your relationships now. You will need them to rebuild after this (spoiler: it’s not really the end of the world – it just feels that way)!

3. MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS

Yes, it’s great if you can be better than you were yesterday, but some days all you can really do is survive, and that’s Ok. Focus on what will get you through until your fortune turns – because nothing lasts forever. Nurture your mental and physical health. Allow your body to rest, but if you’ve been in bed all day, push yourself to do a little exercise to get your blood flowing and produce a little serotonin to improve your mood. Drink enough water and eat fruits and vegetables to nourish your body. Try your best to keep turning your attention back towards positive thoughts, like what you have to be grateful for and the hope that this too shall pass.

If you’re safe and healthy, then slowly make your way back up Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. It’s Ok to not be fully actualized and crushing it every day of your life. Manage your expectations. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Focus first on what will build your strength, and when you feel a little stronger, start planting seeds.

Source: simplypsychology.org

4. PLANT SEEDS

Maybe you don’t have a boss or client right now to give you work to do. Maybe you need to figure out for yourself where to invest your time and energy. Personally, I am a huge advocate for maintaining a humble growth mindset. Keep learning (Google free resources online). Keep searching for opportunities, pitching and applying for the next project. Keep searching for how you can improve your lot in life. Volunteer. Teach. Blog! Plant seeds. One thing I learned in Uganda is that you have to knock on ten doors knowing that only one may open, but one is all you need.

Plant seeds, and allow them to germinate. The harvest will come in time. It may take years before the shots you shoot now reach their target, or you may find that they reach a target you never even expected. What matters is that you continue reaching out into the universe and leaving pieces of your energy to be spun by fortune beyond your control into something magnificent one day. May you reap even more than you sow!

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Uganda Social Media and Mobile Money Taxes Survey

1/23/2019

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The Uganda Social Media and Mobile Money Taxes Survey – a public opinion survey on the impact of new taxes on social media and Mobile Money – was conducted by Whitehead Communications in partnership with the ICT Association of Uganda between the 13th to 16th of July, 2018, making it the first of many investigations into the impact of these taxes, which drew the attention of stakeholders across the nation and globally.

The primary purpose of the survey was to serve as a resource in a consultative and evidence-based review of social media and mobile money taxes, which came into effect at 12am on the 1st of July, 2018. The Parliament of Uganda passed a 32.4 trillion shilling 2018/2019 budget including a new 200 shilling (~0.05 USD) tax “per user per day of access” on “over the top services” (OTTs) previously known by the general public as social media. The same budget introduced an additional tax on mobile money transactions “of receiving, payments and withdrawals” valued at 1% of the value of these transactions.

This quick and far-reaching survey on the practical impacts of the new taxes has since been reported in major national media, as well as used by members of the Ugandan Government and lawyers challenging the taxes in Uganda, plus several Ugandan and international researchers. The Mobile Money tax was subsequently reduced by 50% and a court case in Uganda challenging these taxes is ongoing.

Results were collected both online and through face-to-face interviews across the country, gathering 3,015 responses (more on the methodology and sample in the full report). This report was expedited to be released within 36 hours of closing the survey in order to provide timely information to policy makers, concerned parties and the general public. Whitehead Communications Ltd. continues to work with various stakeholders and researchers to provide its data free of charge for further research and analysis.

You can view the full report on the ICT Association of Uganda website here: http://ictau.ug/2018/07/17/uganda-social-media-mobile-money-taxes-survey-report/

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Uganda’s new Public Entertainment Act: will the show go on?

1/17/2019

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The old euphemism – ‘artistic license’ – refers to an artist’s right to deviate from standards to achieve a desired creative effect. This is not the kind of licensing proposed in the recently leaked draft of Uganda’s ‘Stage Plays and Public Entertainment Act Cap 49’.

Let me first back up and explain where I’m coming from. I’m a studio baby, Canadian-British, raised by a diverse ‘village’ of artists. My father is a guitarist/composer. There’s a music studio in our home. I grew up running around at concerts with other studio babies.

I attended arts school and earned my first paycheck recording children’s parts in radio commercials. At University, I booked shows where I worked as a bartender. In Uganda, I managed a studio and then became a PR consultant for entertainers. I’ve spent time in this business. I love it.

For the past couple of days, the bill on ‘Regulations For Public Entertainment & Stage Plays, Performing Artists, Event Organisers & Promoters in Uganda – 2018’ has been circulating around social media. The story of how it was leaked and by whom is still, so far, unknown.

Just a few scanned and/or photographed pages summarize the proposed offences, like: artists failing to register or submit their works ‘for documentation and approval’, and using vulgar language or being ‘found in unhygienic condition’.

The draft bill limits how many performances one can book in a day and requires clearance from local authorities for artists to tour abroad. Event organizers must give all performers contracts and a ‘hygiene kit’.

Do these lawmakers fully understand how the music business works?

It is common practice for artists to book a kwanjula, corporate event and concert appearance all in one evening. That’s how money is made. Yes, contracts could protect people from exploitation, but also, what of the upcoming artists who come to concerts asking the DJ to put them on?

The draft bill’s penalization of clothing, language and ‘hygiene’ feels like prejudice at best or at worst tyranny. You have to wonder: will artists’ licenses be revoked for dreadlocks being ruled ‘unhygienic’ or performance outfits ‘indecent’?

It is promising to note that Ugandan artists (and others in the events business) are meeting today to air out their views on what this potential legislation means to them and what they want to do about it.

A prayer: may the pride of celebrities not stand in the way of them sharing good ideas.

Can I get an amen?

Some artists could feel aggrieved and want to protest, while others could want to collaborate with government in consultations where they can propose regulations that support and enrich performers. Both approaches could work in harmony.

There is a lot of social media commentary predicting that Ugandan artists will fail to advocate for themselves. I pray otherwise.

May the stars shine without feeling the need to outshine each other. May good faith and space in this discussion allow everyone’s perspectives to be heard.

What I’ve learned from growing up and working in the music industry is that creativity demands freedom. A creative mind must be free to imagine new creations. I have faith that brilliant and free creative minds in Uganda will change the course of their industry.

Most artists would much rather vibe in studio than manage mundane necessities like scheduling and paperwork. So organizing to lobby for the industry won’t be easy, but the alternative – allowing draconian regulations to pass – would result in a bureaucratic nightmare for artists.

A realpolitik perspective on the ‘Stage Plays and Public Entertainment Act Cap 49’ may predict that this bill cannot be enforced consistently, but could be used to frustrate artists selectively, which could sooner or later become a problem for many.

#UOT (Ugandans On Twitter) is predicting that artists will fail to show up for themselves, but it only takes a few. I never underestimate creative minds.

Whether out of a shared passion for art, or the need to feed all their studio babies, I believe that artists always find a way for the show to go on.

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TEAM Effort

1/11/2019

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These past few years, Whitehead Communications Ltd. grew from a one woman freelance operation to a TEAM effort. What started out as bringing on trainees and interns just to share the little I knew turned into something much bigger than myself. Little by little, our capacity grew and I was able to delegate, step back and trust that these incredible people could make magic happen. And they do!

From events promotion to interview bookings to developing multi-media content for digital and more, I've been so proud to see our team grow and own the comms hustle.

From Left to Right, my 2018 gladiators: Florence Kakatshozi, Edwinah Kasidi, Myself, Mabirizi "Breezy" David, Michelle Namata, Pearl Agasha and Angella Kizito.

2019 is in their hands. 🙌

(Angella and Breezy have since spread their wings and migrated elsewhere, while other team members aren't pictured here, but the whole team deserves a round of applause for stepping up and making it happen for Whitehead Comm! 👏👏👏)

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Dear Amos Wekasa, I've got a story for you from #KoiKoiNE

4/22/2018

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Kidepo Valley National Park, Uganda - Photo credit Mudo Eve AKA @nze_eve

Dear Amos Wekasa,

I’ve followed your work promoting tourism in Uganda over the past few years. I’ve watched you speak and greeted you briefly in a line for food at some conference. The other day, I read you wax eloquently in a WhatsApp group about your strategy to invest in marketing Uganda. You also you praised the work done on Ugandan upcountry roads by UNRA and testified that you spend most of your time on the road. I related to that. I’m based in Kampala now, but have traveled to Entebbe, Masaka, Mbarara, Kabale, Ibanda, Kasese, Fort Portal, Murchison, Gulu, Kitgum, Moroto, Kidepo, Soroti, Mbale, Jinja and places in between.

Mountains framing Uganda's Kidepo Valley - Photo credit Arnold Mugasha AKA @ShotByMu

Recently, I had the chance to go on another beautiful road trip with my friends at #KoiKoiUG, this time to Kidepo Valley National Park. It’s so picturesque and full of the kind of wildlife that excites (like lions)! But of course, you must know this already. You’re a master at this Ugandan tourism thing, and I am just a student.

I don’t know if you’ve met the makers of #KoiKoiUG at Kafunda Kreative, but they have struck on a powerful model for Ugandan tourism promotion by picking up on the symbiotic relationship between talented upcoming photographers and the contemporary desire to slay and post great pictures on social media.

Working on my roadtrip hairstyle - Photo credit Arnold Mugasha AKA @ShotByMu

They also recruit bloggers to come along, and trips are open to the general public (with limited spaces that sell out fast). Please come with me on one of these trips if you can. It would be awesome to travel with you.

As a fellow traveller of Uganda, let me share my experience of Kidepo Valley with you, and everyone else who reads this and has thought about how to improve the tourism industry in Uganda: The good and bad; the ugly and beautiful.

Please allow me to be free and generous with words as I paint a picture of travel to the extreme ends of Uganda…

Roland Byagaba of Writivism, captured by Mudo Eve AKA @nze_eve

A beige and green bus tagged with the word "GALVANIZE" rattles over UNRA's speed bumps carrying 22 #KoiKoiUG travelers upcountry to experience and promote local travel across Uganda. This time we are posting across social media with the hashtag #KoiKoiNE, because we're headed to the North East (Kidepo Park in Karamoja) with our collection of Ugandan photographers, bloggers, and whomever booked a seat online for an affordable Ugandan adventure. I fit into the last category this time – though I’ll you tell the story anyway – having sent 400,000 UGX ($108 USD) Airtel Money to Kafunda Kreative leadership to cover 3 nights and 4 days of transport, food, accommodation, and activity fees (which is the most affordable long weekend roadtrip I know of).

My phone pic of one of our #KoiKoiUG bus mates, Deon Sekiranda.

I've taken the seat just behind the bus doors, placed my bare feet up on the stairs' railing and slid open the window on my left to temper the heat with a breeze. Sun blushed and dust clinging to sun-screened skin, it's a relief when the wind fills with the smell of rain and - after a dozen hours on the road from Kampala - the light takes on the golden quality of a conclusion. It takes us about 13 hours to reach Kidepo after passing through Gulu for something to eat (I enjoy the karo, or is it ‘kalo’?).

#KoiKoiNE benevolent dictator Fiona Komusana, enjoying the bus vibes. Photo credit Mudo Eve AKA @nze_eve

As the hours pass on the KoiKoi bus, debates break out amongst busmates, usually about feminism and similarly contentious topics of our time, with travellers twisting in their seats and shouting over a playlist of Ugandan classics that roar from someone's mobile speaker in the back seat. Radio's sweet melodies play (RIP) and his voice stings the heart with beauty and loss. May God have mercy on Moze’s soul.

Soon the playlist switches to the Black Panther soundtrack and a new theme begins to find its footing in our journey: Wakanda is Uganda, and Black Panther is our pride!

Joel Jjemba - a member of our #KoiKoiUG leadership and First Family, poses Wakanda-meditation-style for @ninnojackjr

Crazy Koikois at Aruu Falls doing the most to represent Wakanda=Uganda! Photo credit Mudo Eve AKA @nze_eve

My phone pic of the GALVANIZE bus parked in Karamoja

The final stretch of marrum road towards Kidepo Valley National Park, draw out, with sun setting and a periodic sign to say you’re still far. Someone speculates that we’ll arrive after the park closes and will have to sleep in the bus, keeping out watch for lions.

I don't worry though. What's the point? We'll get there when we get there, and things always work out in Uganda 'somehowly.'

Sure enough, we make it to Uganda Wildlife Authority's Apoka Rest Camp and begin to unpack. My usual travel bestie didn't make it, so I've sign up to share a room with a talented young photographer and sweet as pie KoiKoi sister named Mudo Eve. She spent the trip experimenting with “lighting painting photography,” as we sat still and she waved her DIY light saber behind us through a long exposure, with beautiful results.

It is my 5th time travelling with KoiKoi and I'm used to the low-rate hostels we stay in. Like I said, it is an affordable trip. Plus, I've lived in plenty of less than ideal accommodations as a student and young professional over the years and usually take it easy, but the shortcomings of these UWA accommodations strike me harder this time, probably because I've spent the last few months working from a new 5-star spot in Kampala named Skyz Hotel (as a consultant to assist in building up the marketing and communications team).

I've become used to correcting an errant comma, a waiter forgetting to include the perfect biscuit when serving a latté, and straightening table mats so they are Obsessive-Compulsively aligned. It’s my first time working with a hotel, but I was a waitress and bartender for many years so I understand the importance of making sure our guests’ experiences are top quality. Obviously I'm not paying 5-star rates in Apoka, but it got me thinking about the need for HR training and investment in the accommodations, because did I mention they were sold out far in advance? In my amateur opinion, what I saw was demand to expand the Kidepo tourism business.

Sunrise view from UWA Apoka Rest Camp, as captured by Joel Jjemba AKA @JoelJjemba

One review on Trip Advisor describes Apoka accommodations as distinctly "uncharming" – despite being tucked into one of the most beautiful landscapes ever. The house they offer us has so much wasted space, with two kitchens and not one cup, plate or cutlery anywhere to be found. The cupboards are missing doors. The floors are dirty. The sheets are strewn with lizard poo. There is no soap or toilet paper and certainly no complimentary bottled water. They knew how many of us were coming – we booked months in advance – yet they offer us 4 beds for 7 people, though none of us are married or particularly in the mood for experimenting with such intimacy after 14 hours on the road. I like Eve, but sharing a bed with her on night one of our Easter weekend getaway gets a hard "no" from me, and we set off back to the main rest camp to inquire after extra mattresses.

Checking in with the Kampala office through social media while visiting Manyatta village. Photo credit Pius Enywaru AKA @enywaru on Twitter and @penywaru on Instagram

Upon our return, I consider negotiating our reentry to the collection of bandas by the main office, kitchen and campfire, only to be warned by our #KoiKoiUG companions that "the toilet situation is really bad here guys." Two dirty, broken toilets are meant to cater for all our non-self-contained bandas and half a dozen tents, each accommodating two people, plus the staff and people like me who hang around to eat and gather for activities. The toilet doors do not close, and I think about something Patrick Bitature said recently about how this strips you of your dignity. These toilets again have no toilet paper, but it is brought in response to our requests, which makes me wonder: why really would they not take care of this ahead of time, knowing people are coming? This is what I mean by a need for training and investment.

I'm told the Apoka Rest Camp also has 14 self-contained bandas, but they had already been booked for Easter by January. Apparently there is one other hotel nearby that is significantly more expensive – around $300 a night. That’s not my level, to be honest. What do you think of this gap in the market for good service and decent lodgings at around $80 or 300k per night? Do you have any friends who could build a hotel in Kidepo Valley like that? Because I would stay there, and from the look of Saturday night at Apoka Rest Camp, the place would probably attract all sorts. The lady tending bar told us she had a profitable weekend.

Group shot of the #KoiKoiNE travellers - as taken by all photographers present, AKA @KafundaKreative

Anyway, Apoka supplies us with a couple extra mattresses to set up in the kitchens of our temporary home, which at least has a couple of functioning bathrooms for seven of us to share. Though the cold showers pour right onto the tile, which gathers around the toilet and stays there in a pool at your feet, and of course no slippers (flip flops) are supplied to help you walk on water when nature calls. This is not the kind of experience I want to offer tourists who come all the way to see what is truly a beautiful park.

Ah, but the trip from Kampala to Kidepo through Gulu has been long, and we accept it all. We sleep. We wake to day two of our adventure. Our trusty driver Paul Nsubuga arrives in the morning (on time) with the Shell-fuelled GALVANIZE bus to ferry us to the main UWA site in the morning to meet the rest of our KoiKoi travelling party for eating and adventure.

Slaybudy enjoying the UWA Apoka Rest Camp rolex - Photo credit Mudo Eve AKA @nze_eve

At UWA camp, breakfast is rolex and fruit. For lunch, we line up in the scrappy kitchen for a man sitting on the ground to scoop rice and beans with a plate out of large metal cooking pans. (In no way does this resemble the buffet service at Chapter Two restaurant in Kampala, with its shining silverware and uniformed staff offering table service… But Uganda is full of glaring contrasts.) The Apoka Camp Site kitchen is too dirty and disorganized for me to entirely trust the food, but I eat anyway and they do make a pretty good breakfast rolex, plus there is something sweet about an experience so different from what you’ve been used to lately.

Manyatta in Karamoja, on the outskirts of Kidepo Valley National Park - Photo credit Arnold Mugasha AKA @ShotByMu

On the morning of his birthday, Ninno Jack Jr. greeted me with “can I shoot you?” I said yes. We went to a nearby junkyard and he captured the beauty of that place with me in it. There really are a lot of amazing Ugandan photographers, though one could argue that the beauty of Uganda makes it easy, or at least a joy to photograph.

See Ninno Jack Jr.'s results!

Kidepo Valley photoshoot by @ninnojackjr

Kidepo Valley National Park in Uganda was the first place I ever saw a lion close enough for it to count, and I saw two!

Queen Elizabeth National Park teased the thrill of a lion sighting, though it was too far away to really count. In Murchison Falls National Park, a leopard walked right out in front of my whole family at Amin’s old Pakuba Lodge and posed for us on video. It was glorious!

It takes nearly two days to fly from Canada to Europe and down to Uganda, at about $1500+ per return ticket, an exhausting and expensive journey. I testify with all my heart that it’s worth it to experience all the wildlife Uganda has to offer, the colour and fruit, music and art, and most of all the people. The country is overrun with kindness and clever conversations. But let’s be honest: the customer service and tourism facilities really need work.

Beautiful Uganda - Photo credit Arnold Mugasha AKA @ShotByMu

I’ve used more words than are advisable for a blog post or letter, but so often we travel through life and never record our experiences. Telling Ugandan stories is what #KoiKoiUG is all about, and I think it’s what you’re about too, Amos. Thanks for sharing in this one with me. I hope that soon we’ll meet and I can listen to your stories of travel across the Pearl of Africa – and for anyone else reading this open letter, please leave a comment to join in this discussion with us!

Camera phone pic shot by Roland Byagaba at sunset in Kidepo Valley, Uganda

If there is a movement to invest in Ugandan tourism, please count me in! With so much beauty in one country, we have every reason to share the includible blessings of Wakanda/Uganda with others the world over. We just need to put our head together - and resources - to figure out how to make the very best of the Pearl of Africa.

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War, peace and a view of Kampala

4/8/2018

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Skyz Hotel Rooftop - Naguru, Kampala.

Sitting on a hill or rooftop looking over Kampala is the perfect setting for a conversation – the kind that opens up your mind. This week I had a couple of such “bird’s eye view” meetings with friends smarter than myself who had so many interesting ideas to share. We looked out over the green hills sprinkled with orange tiled rooftops, the sparkling lights as sun set, and the snaking lines of Kampala traffic that just make you laugh, because what to do. A real life “meeting of the minds” has become evermore precious as the days fill with smartphone notifications… It makes you think about how people talk to each other on social media, and how much more enjoyable it is to hash out a difference of opinion in person, sitting together over tea and eats and a beautiful view.

Skyz Hotel - Naguru, Kampala. Photo by Mehul Kanani

It has become clear that social media is not a “safe space,” especially Twitter. People with entirely different worldviews argue with each other about the beliefs they hold dearest, which of course they have a strong motivation to defend. So quickly we go from an offensive tweet to “I hate you and everything you stand for!” I am talking about activist, social commentary Twitter here, but even “it’s not that serious” Twitter gets dragged into these conflicts all the time.

The questions I had for my smarter friends this week were: 1. what is the value of a brutal, militant style of communication; and 2. is it possible to bridge the gaps between people with different beliefs and tactics in order to collaborate better, or is it even necessary?

I found some answers in this video of Trevor Noah interviewing Barack Obama in which Trevor posed the question: "it is often difficult to skirt that line between speaking your mind and sharing your true opinion on race whilst at the same time not being seen to alienate some of the people you are talking to [...] I always wanted to know how you navigated that through your two terms."

Obama offered an insightful response. "There have been times in my public life when I said 'how can I say this diplomatically? How do I say this, as you indicated, in a way that it's received?' So there have been very few instances where I've said "well that was racist. You are racist.' There have been times when I've said 'you know, you might not have taken into account the ongoing legacy of racism' [...] Now some might say 'you are not speaking truth to power because of that diplomacy,' but I don't think that trying to appeal to the better angels of our nature is somehow compromise [...] and I would add, everybody's got a different role to play. You know, Chris Rock is doing stand up and there's a benefit to him doing something that is different from the President of the United States doing something. For one thing, he doesn't have to edit his language quite as carefully, because I am still subject to some restraints [...] children are watching and I try to comport myself in a way that my mother would approve of."

Obama pointed out that “everybody's got a different role to play.” I took this to mean that one approach is not necessarily better than the other, but actually they work together in the big picture. The Chris Rocks get people talking, checking each other and themselves, and breaking barriers. The Obamas nurture the relationships needed to build a better system.

I figure, even if the fighters and the diplomats aren’t working closely together, they can still be complimentary. An army can be motivated by the thought that just talking won’t solve the problem and someone’s got to fight, while the diplomat can point to fighting on the TL and say to the man, "look, there is a war going on out there, so it may be in your best interest for us to come to an understanding."

When I say “diplomat,” I really just mean taking interest in the interests of your adversary, and seeing if you can make them your ally. For example, as a woman I'm alert to discussions of feminism, and I am willing to hear a man out when he feels bad about being publicly shamed, unfollowed, blocked and labelled a rape apologist for tweeting something he didn't fully understand. That softens the ground for a discussion about this issue in relation to other injustices in our culture that hurt people of all genders, including him. I’ve found that listening to another person’s point of view creates trust that allows for more consideration on both sides, which helps you agree on solutions.

I know what works for me, but that is not to say it is the right way, because there is no one right way. The fact is that we are all coming from a different point of view, and so conflicts are going to come up. Everyone has to choose for themselves if they’re going to fight for it, if they want to learn from it, and whether they want to make a friend or an enemy. It could probably help if we all got better and giving and receiving feedback. Maybe our communications skills will collectively improve over time, because with globalization and social media, we’re getting a lot more practice at disagreeing. I’ve found it beneficial to have an open mind, be moderate, reasonable and compassionate, but that is not going to work for everyone. Still, I pray that we all get the chance to take the high ground, see life from a “bird’s eye view,” have a laugh and be at peace.

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Breaking ice with fire

3/2/2018

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Last year, not long after the Season 7 finale of Game of Thrones, I had one of those epic conversations with friends that lasted late into the night and kept me up later writing about it. I never posted… Until today.

Image source: http://clipground.com/group-conversation-clipart.html

Our conversation started with a disagreement over the #MenAreTrash movement, then it took the scenic route through the difference in freedom of speech between Rwanda and Uganda, followed by debating if it’s a good idea to tell your partner you cheated on them, to how to parent your child in the information age, but I think the conversation we were having was about communication. We were trying to figure out how to handle aggressive confrontation of different worldviews, which can be uncomfortable – hurtful, even.

I am a feminist, but I have argued on both sides of this “not all men” debate. I believe that #MenAreTrash is a slogan that invites defensive criticism, because all generalizations have to be wrong in some cases, but I am also grateful that we have been incited to engage in this conversation. #MeToo I have been disrespected and abused by powerful men more times than I can count or care to remember. Thank-you Twitter Feminists for creating a space where I can share that vulnerability with confidence. I also know so many men who have never done any of these things and are really good people, so I don’t want to say that all men are garbage. On the other hand, it is satisfying to see a woke man talk his bro out of liquoring up a chick with intent to take advantage. If the objective of #MenAreTrash is to make people realize that we have social problems that we must change, then I think it is effective. To see my friends arguing about #MenAreTrash though – it was combative, chaotic and infuriating. The communication was devastating, like breaking ice with fire!

At some point the conversation turned to Rwanda. One of my Ugandan-Rwandan friends was complaining about how difficult it is to criticize the status quo in Kigali compared to Kampala. Another friend with roots in both countries talked of the paranoia over spies listening in, that it was a police state, and anyway, they said, the memory of genocide is still fresh. It turned out that one of our group identified as Hutu and the other Tutsi, though they both said they were Ugandan. They agreed that in Rwanda, to say “he is Hutu” or “she is Tutsi” could make a person recoil and correct you that “no, we are all Rwandan.” In Kampala, we can sit around a table decorated with empty bottles and speak freely about politics, complain of tribalism, disagree and make a scene, but my friends said that in Kigali it’s not the same. You may have to shut down that conversation before you get yourself in trouble. That is communication with consequences.

Then someone asked: is it better to get caught cheating, or would you rather confess to your partner first? Eh, now this is a situation where communication has consequences. We did a survey of the half-dozen as-yet-unmarried people in the discussion, and in almost all cases, whether the cheater confessed or was caught, the relationship ended. Preemptive confessions saved the relationship sometimes, temporarily, but mortally wounded the relationship anyway (leading to a slow death). Finding out that your spouse is cheating on you hurts. It is information that nobody wants to receive. The blowback is severe. It’s not a message that any guilty person would want to deliver. Yet, it is morally right to be honest (of course, it is also morally right to be faithful). We need our partners to be honest with us. Much of the pain of being cheated on is unraveling all the lies you’ve been told and suffering from the realization that you cannot trust this person whom you love. Loved. Done. To the left.

But can you have too much honesty? How much hurtful information can the mind handle? And what of the minds of our children: the undeveloped minds who grow up on our Facebook pages, learn to dance like music video vixens on YouTube at five years old, and cyber bully each other through school. Children these days can borrow an auntie’s phone and access all the information on the internet. Wholesome values can get lost in the information overload. I have a little girl at home and I’ve been honestly talking with her about all the deepest topics of social political philosophy since before she finished potty training. It started like an inside joke with myself, but by age six she started leading the conversation. We discuss the Ugandan news, money, love, hate, sexism, racism, religion, power… She tells me all her secrets, her insecurities and questions about life. She asks me about sex and politics and death, and I give her honest answers. Sometimes I worry that I say too much. She is growing up in a safe home where we can make up yoga moves, explore and express ourselves so freely, but the world we’re raising our children in now is not safe.

One of my friends pledged that when his children turn 16, he will lay out all the forbidden drugs in front of them and explain how to use each one, what to do and what not to do, and even offer to try two of them together just to give them an informed choice. Mind you, he doesn’t have children yet. I’m not sure I could go that far with mine, but my father did give me some sage advice about drugs that he learned in the 60s, which may have helped me avoid a drug overdose in my own life. Other parents would have preferred to avoid the drugs subject entirely. Some would say that talking about drugs with your children just makes it Ok for them to do drugs. Others could argue that they will be faced with the choice to take drugs anyway, so you might as well prepare them. Is it possible to be too informed or too free?

Coming from a Canadian point of view, I think back to times since the Second World War when the UN was formed, the civil rights movement swept across the globe and people more or less agreed to have liberal, democratic peace. It didn’t last, though. The collective unconsciousness became restless, opened pandora’s box and let out all our demons. Maybe the trauma of war can keep one generation peaceful, or two, but then the next comes out with No Fucks Left To Give. Enough of liberalism – Make America Great Again! We are tired – Togikwatako! Down with The Patriarchy – #MenAreTrash!

I have been told by many Ugandans that they believe Uganda needs a dictator like Idi Amin, or else they will destroy themselves and each other. Idi Amin said something like: “you have freedom of speech, but freedom after speech – that I cannot guarantee.” He may have been speaking of a deeper truth – a law of nature.

I believe that with creation comes destruction. To build, we break. Maybe it goes around in seasons, with intermittent periods of painful conflict and growth. My parents’ generation enjoyed a pleasant harvest season, but now winter has come and we are here fighting ice with fire!

And yet, some of our minds have been stretched to accommodate more than someone who is not so exposed, or is traumatized, or whose mind is still developing. We must not forget that there is a place for aggressive confrontation, but also there are consequences beyond our understanding, and not everybody has the same level of tolerance for debate, or the ability to engage in it. Our elders may be traumatized with good reason, as they remember why it’s not always the best strategy to fight. Our children may not be ready to handle some ugly truths. Some people just had a bad day and can’t even with your lugezigezi.

The world also needs peacemakers, empaths and bridge builders. We all need to learn how to accept different views and approaches, to listen, and to express ourselves freely but carefully. Be real, be honest, but also be thoughtful of others, because you won’t be triumphantly flying away on the back of a dragon after you burn your fellow humans to ashes. You will look up from the screen and face the reality of the destruction you caused. We all wish for safety, health, prosperity and happiness. We all want the best for our children. So let’s disrupt to create a better world, not destroy it. But feel free to disagree.

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Dear Feminists: We Have A Problem

12/10/2017

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Source: soirart tumblr

[Disclaimer: the following is only my point of view on a sensitive topic, and it does not represent so many other people and their experiences. My approach will not work for everyone, so please do not use these words to silence anyone. Rather, let's all listen and reflect.]

Ok, as a feminist myself, I’ve been watching the gender war on Uganda’s Twitter timeline and I have to admit: we have a problem!

First of all, why are we fighting?

What is our objective when we harshly shut down and/or block anyone who disagrees with us?

How will this help us better understand each other and find solutions?

In the past few weeks, many of my friends in Uganda – especially the men – have lamented in private that they feel social media has become a toxic and dangerous place where they could easily be insulted and shamed for anything they might say that offends a feminist. The term “Feminazi” has gained ground as those with more traditional or potentially oppressive beliefs about women’s roles in society are consistently attacked by a small group of outspoken feminists whom some characterize as extremists. These are the womyn who preach that #MenAreTrash (Mother God, please forgive me for calling out your activists). I am thankful for the women who speak out against injustice, because I do believe that the efforts of social activists have made our world a better place. However, the #MenAreTrash approach has many people believing that feminists are all angry, sometimes hypocritical, and just wanting to bring down men and promote female domination, rather than deconstructing the current (unjust) system to build more equity among the sexes.

Let’s look back to the approaches of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr. in the civil rights movement of the 1960s. Both, I believe, had an important role to play, but when Malcolm X said that white people are the devil and promoted violence against them, this did not win him as much popular support at MLK’s more positive and inclusive approach. Furthermore, when Malcolm X went to mecca, he ended up changing his mind about all white people being evil. Would I be wrong to compare #MenAreTrash to The White Devil? An extreme, angry, aggressive approach does make people think and talk, but it also creates an equal and opposite reaction. You have to ask yourself: are you an activist because you want to create positive change, or are you fighting just for the love of fighting? We may need a more MLK style feminism on the TL to persuade the masses that social equity is good, reasonable and in everyone’s interest, so everybody is welcome to make a positive change.

I’ve been raising a little girl over the past few years, and it’s taught me some things about human nature. When she does something cruel and I berate her and shame her in all her wrongness, she just shuts down the ability to reason, cries and says that Auntie Anne is mean. When I show her love and empower her to consider how she is capable of doing better, she changes her behaviour. Similarly, when I present a funding proposal to grown corporates without considering their interests in the partnership, I’m brushed off like any other beggar, but when I frame the proposal in such a way that uplifts the funder just as much as the funded, then we can make a deal.

We need a fair deal that includes men (and “Patriarchy Princesses”) in gender equity, and that also means cutting out the loopholes that allow some Ugandan feminists to claim the best of both worlds. You can’t ask for financial freedom and expect the men to buy all your drinks at the same time. You can’t rail against men battering their wives while laughing it off when women batter their husbands. You can’t chant “down with The Patriarchy” and then expect him to give you his sweater. He also feels the cold. Buy your own sweater!

Dear feminists, we have a problem. You are feeling the backlash too, aren’t you? The fact is that movements for social change must be inclusive if they are to get enough support to make a difference. Whether we live in a just or unjust society is up to the beliefs and actions of all members of that society, so if men are not welcomed to be part of building justice, then feminists are working against themselves.

Our world has become increasingly divided by ideology. Try to walk the middle path in 2017, and people are bound to throw stones from both sides. I’ll probably offend both a misogynist and a feminist by saying this, but here we go: feminism is needed, it is right, but it has taken a wrong turn.

Instead of focusing on the fight, let’s focus on building what we want to come after. Feminists must persuade our oppressors that updating gendered expectations can be good for everybody, even them. We must be more patient, inclusive, interactive and encouraging to stem the backlash and nurture a popular movement. Go ahead and block whoever disagrees with you if that’s what you need to hold onto your sanity, but don’t fool yourself that separation will help the cause. It won’t. To create social justice is to be open to new ideas and choose the best for everyone, together.

[Note: I have also learned the flaws in my reasoning by engaging further with people of different points of view on social media and in person (for example: it's worth recognizing that Ugandan women have also suffered in their attempts to dialogue with men about their oppression, so they shouldn't be judged for taking another approach). May this conversation continue, with more people from all sides engaged in a way that helps us better understand and find solutions.]

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Would you kill a kitten?

11/10/2017

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The struggle for kittens in Kampala is real. You know those little ones around your ankles at the kafunda begging you for scraps? These Kampala kittens, they have white fur with patches of grey or brown or black, and eyes that speak to your soul and persuade you to drop a grisly bit of meat into their little paws, as if doing so could be counted as a tithe to God, just by helping out another living being in need with what you’ve been given.

My dogs killed my kitten. I love my dogs and I want to defend them as if #NotAllDogs would do such a thing, but they did. I think the problem was that all of them were served their food at once, and one of my biggest dogs killed the kitten to assert its dominance and have all the food for itself. I don’t know because I was in Ibanda when the incident occurred and my investigations with house management have been inconclusive, but you know dogs. They are animals. The biggest and strongest one becomes in control of everyone and eats all the best meat himself. That’s Toby for us. He was probably the one who killed Cordelia, may she RIP. A friend told me today that his dogs once killed a kitten too, which kind of normalized the idea that dogs are always killing kittens by nature, though I’m not sure that conclusion would hold up with a statistics expert.

One day not long ago, I turned onto Tank Hill Road from Barnabas and saw in front of me a kitten, bloody and jerking back and forth on the road as if it had just been hit. I had two seconds to make a decision. This animal looked as if it was suffering while dying. Do I drive around this kitten or put it out of its misery? What would you do? I mean really, if you were driving and you saw this scene, how would you react?

I did not kill the kitten, but for a second I considered whether it would be a reasonable act of mercy. Maybe the car behind me didn’t see it and splat. Maybe the kitten suffered longer. Maybe it miraculously made it to the side of the road. Maybe it survived! Unlikely, but possible. At least there was a chance.

The struggle is real for kittens in Kampala, I tell you. They are so small and weak and dependent. Dogs kill kittens. Kids abuse kittens. As an “auntie,” I have had to teach young children that holding a kitten by the neck is not ok. That empathetic logic is apparently not inborn. We have to teach each other to be kind and gentle, or else our animalistic nature will just allow that big is big and kittens will be killed.

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White Privilege as I've lived it in Uganda

10/9/2017

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#KoiKoiUG panel at Writivism 2017 in Kampala. Photo credit: Andrew Pacutho.

Ok, I think it’s about time for me to write about White Privilege in the context of Uganda. A little self reflection – and you don’t have to go deep – brought me to the conclusion that I am experiencing a lot more privileges than my Ugandan friends in their own country.

I don’t like the word “expat,” because Ugandans in Toronto are not called expats – they’re called “immigrants” - and also it sounds too close to “expert.” We cannot deny that many white people in Uganda are paid more than their Ugandan colleagues, regardless of some migrants' inferior expertise in their roles and responsibilities.

On many occurrences, I have been waved through security checks while the Ugandan people I’m with are asked to open their bags. I actually have to say: “here, check mine too.” I often joke cynically that the biggest terrorist threat in Uganda could be a muzungu’s purse.

I have traveled a lot with my Ugandan friends around the country, and I have one friend named Nvannungi who likes to tease me with the reminder: “Anne, your White Privilege is showing!” (This blog is dedicated to you, Leadership.)

Last year, I travelled upcountry with my housemate Zalwango, and we noticed that many of the hotel staff and other service providers would look me in the eye while speaking, and pretty much ignore her. They’d offer to carry my bags and not even notice when she held out hers. I tweeted about this and was advised that I was served better in the expectation of better tips - muzungu = $$$ - never mind the reality of the situation, which was that my friend and I were splitting the cost of the trip and deserved equal service. We were both upset, not at the people themselves, but at the injustice in that way of thinking.

I have worked on so many funding proposals and pitches of different kinds with teams of Ugandans, and we noticed that when a Ugandan teammate contacts a potential partner, they are often ignored, but the name Whitehead gets a reply. I understand the lack of trust in a market that can often be too “unserious” about professionalism and integrity, and I do good work, but my muzungu name also has a more positive prejudice.

When a Ugandan welcomes a muzungu into their country, they open doors (literally and figuratively) lead you in and offer you the best seat available. They are warm and receptive. They take time to talk with you, and offer you any food or drink they have. A Ugandan will speak their very best English with a muzungu, and then praise the migrant for even one or two words in the local language that they can fumble out. A Ugandan does not expect a foreigner to learn their languages the way a Ugandan would be expected to speak English in America.

Through a confluence of a trending news cycle and my relationships in Uganda’s media – and I think some White Privilege – I found myself this past week in the middle of a story that run faster than Kiprotich. Everyone was giving me credit for PR that I wasn’t doing, calling me a “manager” of someone I wasn’t even working with at the time, and no matter how many times I responded to this, people just believed I must be running things. I believe this was confirmation bias at least partly based on the assumption that a Ugandan man – mbu muyaye – could not express himself so eloquently and confidently without a muzungu writing for him, which is just not true.

This thinking is a symptom of the same mindset that believes “local” is an insult, and better things must come from outside countries. Meanwhile, so many amazing creators are making Uganda proud to be local! Mindset change is so needed to deal with these injustices that rob society of development, but people’s thinking is changing mpola mpola…

So, what can I personally do to remedy my situation of benefiting from cultural and systematic injustices? Well, I think it is my responsibility to make sure to treat everyone with respect, and to listen and learn from others. If I notice that my white privilege is showing, I should take a minute and consider whether I could make another choice to help bring more equity to the situation. As for opening doors that not everyone can, once I am inside I will do the best work I possibly can to stay there and make a positive impact. When I know Ugandans who have value to offer, I will recommend them for jobs, and if my clients ever try to underpay artists, staff, entrepreneurs, etc. I will argue on the behalf of the oppressed, because we all deserve that dignity.

It’s not so easy sometimes. Honestly, privilege of any kind – whether based on your gender, class, etc. – it can mess with your head and make you think you’re a VIP. But then look down at the world from space and all us humans and our drama are even too small to see. We are nothing, or we are all VIPs.

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