My Womanhood in Kampala's Professional World

Yesterday, Ugandan Speaker of Parliament Rebecca Kadaga answered questions on Twitter about female empowerment in Uganda using the hashtag #AskNRM. I was excited to hear from a Ugandan female professional about women’s issues (though I found the exchange disappointing due to lateness, lack of substance and credibility, but that is another story). Nevertheless, I was inspired to share my own experience as a working woman in Kampala.

You see, there is this thing that happens when I - as a woman - try to do business in Kampala, Uganda, where The Patriarchy reigns.  I am often put in my place.

In my experience, women in Uganda are mostly valued for their nurturing, beauty, reproduction, domestic service, status, money and sex. It is not an insignificant challenge for a woman to be valued primarily for her work.
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I risk sounding like a feminist here - and more importantly I do not speak for other women in Uganda who have very different experiences than myself (especially when you factor in poverty) - but I’m writing this on my own behalf, because it’s something I think we need to talk about more if we truly want women's empowerment in Uganda.
 
Readers: please ask another woman about her experience working in Uganda to get a fuller picture. Ugandan female bloggers: please respond with your own story.

Things men say:
 
“Muzungu, I love you.”
 
“Are you married?”
 
“Stay a little longer.”
 
“Stop walking away. Hey, you, come back here!”
 
“Let me see you smile.”
 
“Can I come visit you at your house?”
 
“You are too smart for your own good.”
 
“Do you want to dance in a music video?”

or

“You should be in my music video.”
 
“So, who cares about your boyfriend. We don’t tell him.”
 
“Let us talk about business later. I just want to relax.”
 
“That one, she is very ambitious.”

This is how it has been for me, as a young Canadian woman in an old Ugandan man’s world…
 
Recently, my housemate told me that she met a man in a bar, and he said he knew me: that Canadian girl, the x-girlfriend of his friend. When she inquired after the friend’s name, she realized that he was actually one of my clients, with whom I swear to God I have never had any sexual or romantic relationship. Nevertheless, I was identified as an x-girlfriend rather than a professional consultant.
 
Maybe my client told his friend he slept with me (to show off?), or maybe his friend just assumed it. Either way, the resulting belief reinforced a stereotype in his mind about women (AKA confirmation bias). Assumptions can make an ass of you and me, they say. (Or just a piece of one, in my case.)
 
I’ve had a chance to work with some 'Big Men' in Kampala, and we often greet other men or pass through crowds together. Sometimes I can tell during these brief exchanges that people assume I’m just one of the Big Man’s harem.
 
I’d prefer to be identified as a professional advisor – the archetype we imagine: a wise old man in a great suit (it’s how I feel!) – but instead I am being demoted to just a pretty girl, the sexual part of the entourage.
 
Ha! And when I am not standing beside a man (claimed), then men all over Kampala try their luck! From road workers to innuendo in boardroom meetings to the crowds just shouting, managing men’s libidos takes time and energy away from my work. Ladies, am I the only one whose patience is tested?
 
Business can be totally derailed by it, like last year when a Ugandan “fixer” for an international media house refused to give me his producer’s phone number unless I went on a date with him. No, thanks. Preproduction scuttled. And I have been in much worse situations with men who were harder to dodge.
 
For the record, I am not single or searching. I dress for myself, according to how I feel that day. I am a free woman, happily exploring my capacity for greatness. Please, do not allow my full potential to be eclipsed by my role as a woman.
 
Every time we judge women like Hon. Rebecca Kadaga for their marital status instead of professional accomplishments, we contribute to a culture of defining people by their assigned gender role instead of their personal capabilities. If a woman is well suited to the role of wife and mother, that’s great, but if she’s trying to be taken seriously as a professional, these judgements can make things difficult.
 
There has been a lot of degrading talk in Kampala about women ‘fleecing’ men, or dating them for money. Yes, it happens around the world, but to what extent do our societies and collective beliefs encourage it?
 
Here’s the thing: I am not looking for a man to take care of me. What I want is a job that pays me what I am worth. Then I can take care of myself and contribute my best to society, given my unique knowledge and skills.
 
We all have the power to change this.
​Thanks for reading my story.